It's a different world we live in. Svend and I took the kids to the park yesterday. Bergen and Tabitha played together in the sand box, Tally met a new friend and was off with her, and I help Brooky. I was glad the park was empty and I could keep tabs on all the kids without any problem. I always wanted a large family, but yesterday, as we watched our 4 kiddos, I told Svend my big fear. 4 is hard to keep track of. I don't have enough hands for everyone to hold on to. They are all pretty young and it only takes a second for one to get distracted, or me to get distracted, and suddenly, they are gone. We have lost Bergen multiple times... MULTIPLE times. It's been a misunderstanding every time such as I didn't hear him tell me he was going with grandma and when I turned he was gone...or when we were at the park and I had an eye on him but neglected to show him where I was watching from. When he finally decided to look for me, he could find me, and I had at that moment, turned to talk to a friend. When I looked back, he was gone. I found it at the parking lot. He thought I'd gone to the car... atleast he thought to look THERE.
Back to the "different" world. Crazies and psychos are all over place. I know...I am paranoid. ButI love my kids and I fear for him. I want to protect them as much as possible. I thought limiting the number of kids we have was selfish, but I just want to be able to protect the ones I have. I also want them to have fun in this life. Taking 4 to diffent activities is going to be taxing... more than 4 and I think our family would never see eachother. I don't know. I know that having more is going to be on the table for a while. I don't even know why I'm thinking about this when I have a 4 month old. Oh wait, it's because when people see me with my 4, the first thing they say is "you're not having more, are you?" WHAT?! Anyways. I love my kids, I want what's best for them. They are smart, kind, and important :)
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