on my mind

I dropped Svend and Tally off at the airport. Yes, I'm paranoid and praying they make it safely, have a wonderful (safe) trip and return home safely. I hate having our family separated... which is why I doubt I'll ever go somewhere super far away with svend...until all the kids are teenagers or something. Yes...paranoid...afraid to re-do our will... paranoid.

I was sick on the way to the airport and the way home. Had to stop and get a milkshake...wierd? yes. and fries. it was all that sounded good and I was soooo sick. I was going to take the kids to gurnee on saturday but I had to ditch the people I'd made plans with. I'm scared to leave my house...and be that far away from my bed. I don't throw up, but dry heaving and nausea are enough for me! I do have to say, this has been my "easiest" bout of morning sickness...so I should be greatful for that. I haven't had any full on runs to the bathroom.  Though...I think most of those occured when I was around 12 weeks or so...I'm 10 tomorrow. chugging along.

the $20 from taco bell was not so. we found out the hard way. Ordered $19 in food and paid $15 for it. :( I was bummed..wish we'd been told we were getting what she hadn't spent, but still grateful...otherwise I wouldn't have had an excuse to get a bean burrito! ...yuuuummm. I don't know WHY ON EARTH those are SOOOO good to me right now.  Weird. I would also like a turtle cheesecake.  Just a slice.

I get sick also because I get dehydrated. I think my amniotic fluid must be on the rise. Seriously..and drinking water makes me want to barf...so juice it is. Guess who's gained 10lbs in 10 weeks of pregnancy. I just keep thinking...give me til march. The weather will be "nicer" I'll be out of morning sickness...I can walk Tabitha to school every day (30-40 min round trip)....I'll be okay. Right now I'm just in survival mode...and if that means chubbing up...so be it. Atleast one pair of my new pants still fits...AND buttons.  The other...fits...but won't button. It's in the closet now. I have a belly. Yep, and none of it is baby. The baby just pushed my gut up about 5 inches... oh well. I'm 31 and prego with #5 and can't afford a gym or daycare or babysitter and I DON'T CARE :) I'll have my whole life to work on my body. And even then, I don't want to be obsessed. I am eating healthy (except for the juice and occaissional fulfillment of cravings...which can usually be appeased with cereal--high fiber, healthy stuff).

So I dropped svend off and felt like trash and remember that I have 3 kids to my self for 3 days with out any help...and we are going to be eating a LOT of cereal...and eggs..and oatmeal. Because that's about my max. And that's even pushing it.  I really need straw chips...but it's tooooo cold and I don't want to go in and out of any stores. Jewel sucks for not selling them when I had to buy my rice milk. I cried when I left them...bawled really. Bergen had to pee and we were in a bad part of town. I made him hold it til we were almost home then I pulled over and he peed out the side of the car into some grass. yep. Life....... true life ;)

our tax return is no where to be done...because we don't have our w2 yet. I would appreciate this very very much. We have to put svend's pod lisence on discover... and we have to buy scriptures for tally's baptism and we have to move. Oh yeah, I am pretty certain our rent will be raised by $60. We found a house with 4 bedrooms for $10 less than we are paying now.  WE just need a deposit...tax return... and we just need it...becuase things keep coming up and we have $100 on discover already and just enough in the bank. I got $75 from my MIL for my birthday... I just want to use it to pay off stuff. Svend won't let me. I may just use it to pay for my cravings!  That'll help. We always joke that pregnancy adds about $100 to our monthly budget...because I HAVE to eat when I HAVE to eat!  I wish mcdonalds delivered..I could use some mega salty fries about now..... bluh. nite!