"I never said it would be easy, I only said it'd be worth it" :): Grateful. Scared. But Grateful

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Grateful. Scared. But Grateful

In about an hour, Svend has to wake up for his second day of residency. Long commute for rounds at 6am :( But, we once again decided that we're staying up north for this first year.

I was paying bills last night and going through our bank accounts. scary. I'm grateful he got a job, but that $$ discover bill from his last interviews is not a pretty site. It costs money (and lots of it) to fly on a plane, rent a car, and stay at a hotel for a few days.... erg.

I'm anxious for our first pay check in a month...so see how much he really gets... We reapplied for govt aid... I'm anxious to see what we qualify for...and though I'm not a fan, I am signing up for WIC again.

Am grateful that this "facing reality" stuff has happened to us in stages...

going to school at BYU-I and getting married was hard financially but we made it.

When we quit managing apartments and had to pay "real rent" for the first time our last year at BYU-I the Lord gave us a way...it was our first student loans...2 degrees and only one year of student loans...

When we moved out her and our rent literally doubled for a crappy apartment, it hurt and was scary and hard...but the Lord has seen us through..

Now, no more loans (time to start paying back...), a meager salary for a family of 6... real bills... off most govt programs... s.c.a.r.y. But the Lord will see us through... He helped us make it this far and He does not leave His children comfortless. I know this for a fact... so if I budget and pay tithing (SOOOO excited to pay regular tithing!!!), and attend the temple, and do all the things the Lord asks, he will see us through...just as he has these past 8 years.

*** best blessing yesterday?

Tabitha was bouncing on the top bunk and literally bounced over the edge. Slow motion and oh so scary. My friend was sitting in front of me and both of us were on either side of her watching this happen. We caught her just before something horrible would have happened. She was scared and shaken...but okay. I'm so grateful. She's had some horrible falls and this would have resulted in the worst... but she is okay and I'm grateful my baby was blessed.

** the blessing in disguise I just put together... Hubby failed boards. Because of this, his director let him off a week early from work so he could study. If he hadn't failed boards, he wouldn't have gotten off a week early and wouldn't have come home that weekend that I had Brooklyn. Wow. BLESSING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why single?

I remember being engaged and thinking "I can't wait til we're married and we can be together ALL the time." A married friend of mine said "yeah right. We see eachother less now." I didn't believe her :) Well, one month after graduation, babygirl came along. Hubby had a crappy job and didn't get any days off. Luckly she was born on a Sunday. We lived away from any family and dealt for a few days til help arrived. (more like cried and ate toast while never putting down a nursing baby). More school for hubby and Bugs came along. Hubby's don't get maternity leave when they're students...so again we dealt for a few days until help arrived. Moved onto Grad school. Took hubby to carpool every morning @ 6am and picked him up at 5:30pm. Dinner and kids in bed by 6:30 then studying til 10pm. Got a second car (hooray!) which allowed the kids to stay up later and sleep in...thus getting to see daddy more. 3rd year of grad school brought Sweets with it. Hubby got my text to meet me at the hospital. Left school and came over. Back at school the next day. No tears. Lots of help with friends this time :) And family arrived before I was even discharged! Baby #4 came 2 months before graduation…and shortly after we learned we did not match. ..so no job or place to go. we made it though-as you will see. Our caboose arrived at the beginning of our last year in residency. I started this blog when just 3 were at home. It's been a place for me to vent, rejoice, and basically be honest and real with out situation and that of many other students/residents/beginning doctors. Now are in our first year of our career and already we have seen several lows…but we keep chugging forward…and I'm happy to report, I'm not so single any more!