TMI?

So, Svend and I have been talking about the "Big V."  After Anders, I felt like I could not have any more kids. We have 5 beautiful healthy children and it's time to start another chapter of our life… growing up! Our older kids are excited for being able to do things we couldn't do (or enjoy!) as a family with little kids.  It's been a stressful and joyful journey as Svend has been in school/residency during all the births of the kids.

So, I made an appointment.  April 6. $750. It's a lot of money…but cheaper than a baby! haha.

I then went on the Church's website because there IS information about the Church's stance (or at least opinion on the permanent birth control.) Like many things it says we should curtail our family size because of selfish desires. Basically if the mother's health is at risk (physically or EMOTIONALLY) then it should be considered…otherwise, permanent bc shouldn't be an option (but yes, we still have agency and no one will be excommunicated for the choice!)

I told Svend, just in passing.  He said "it's none on the Church's business. This is his way of saying it's our choice with God's :)  And, he's right.

Yesterday Svend came home and said "I think we need to wait on the vastectomy.  WhaT? I stopped and looked at him with a wonder-type look. His response "I still don't think we're having any more kids! It's the money." I said "oh okaaaayyyyy" and laughed.

This morning, Brooklyn walked over to Svend and said "Daddy, when are the baby girl's coming to our family?" Svend asked "what….?" She said "daddy, when is mommy having a baby girl?"

I don't want any more kids. I love my children. I got a little worried this morning…. but you know what? It's our choice. As long as we are being "responsible" it's our choice. Heavenly Father knows my feelings. He know my body fell apart after Anders. He knows I am ready to "have my body back." He also knows that our situation is cruddy right now..but in 5 years….. maybe not?  Anyway, not saying we're having any more kids and Svend would be soooo annoyed with me even suggesting it's possible in the far future… but well, things can change… and since he's not getting the Big V anytime soon….


but I really can't handle any more kids. For real. It would scare me and hurt our family right now more than anyone realizes.  Right now….