the temple

Last night Svend and I went to the temple. My mom had offered to watch the kids so we could see Meet the Mormons… We were talking on thursday about our upcoming date and I said " we could go see meet the mormons, or actually act like a mormon and go to the temple." Svend said " I don't think that's a bad idea."

I honestly don't know when the last time we were in the temple together was.  I was in for Josh's sealing in December and Svend went when we got to Texas… but I don't think we have been together since I was pregnant with Anders…and even then I am unsure!  Hard with kids/no babysitters/infants…

Anyway, WE WENT!

I learned so much last night. I don't think it was just because I hadn't been. The video is new. It was so wonderfully done. So much more was realized to me about just how much LOVE our Father in Heaven has for his children and how much TRUST we/Adam and Eve had in our Savior that it would be okay.  I'm so grateful the church redid the video. The words haven't changed but the feelings have.

I am so grateful to be a woman in this Church. I am so grateful to understand the gospel. I am so grateful my husband is a worthy priesthood leader. I am so grateful that I am not jealous or angry that I do not hold the priesthood-because I get it. I love my role. I love my Father in Heaven.

All I felt last night was LOVE. I wanted to know if we should stay in Texas. I wanted someone to come to me and say "Don't you love Texas" or something like "you should move" or SOMETHING to tell me what to do. But I just felt love. I cried. I haven't done that in a long time int he Temple.

I also felt like we were there while the earth was made. Watching and praying and hoping. With knowledge from my patriarchal blessing that I help the Savior and Father, I felt it last night. I WAS THERE watching and praying for my chance to come to earth.

I am grateful for agency. We have been so blessed to CHOOSe what we want to do. We can CHOOSE to stay in Texas or we can CHOOSE to leave.  I think we will stay--unless Nebraska calls and it's too good to be true.

It's going to be hard. Really hard. Very tight. Svend just got paid and it was only $2300 and it SUCKS.  That's about what it will be with Jackman…and it will STINK. No room for savings. Which is why we need to plow through and carry on and save all we can now…before we have to leave my parents house.  If we can…

All I know, and I KNOW this for sure is that our Father in Heaven is mindful of EVERYTHING. He loves us so much. He cares for us and wants us to be happy.  His Love is real. His love is eternal.

I also know I must share that love with my children. I need to be better mom. I need to strive to be more loving and in tune with my children (esp Tally).