why Brooklyn came {for} me

My Brooklyn. We have had our moments. Everyone has with her. But this sweet child…look in those eyes. This sweet child is here for me.  She was a surprise. She was not planned. She was the girl when I dreamed of a boy. She was 3 weeks early and demanded our attention as she stayed in the hospital for nearly a week. 

I have not been so happy with myself. Mostly my body. My body image is at a low. Not as low as after she was born, but still, just frustrated. I went to the dr. He even offered me meds. What? I declined. I need to figure out my body the right way. I  have really tried to teach my girls our bodies are gifts that help us and not to reject them or put ourselves down. But behind closed doors, I do.  My doctor, after listening to me, said "Jessica, why don't you just be the healthiest you that you can be? Stop looking for  a certain weight or size and just strive to be healthy. Stop looking for a timeline and just keep trying to feel good." 

A few days ago, Brooklyn opened my wallet and discovered my driver's license picture.  When I took the picture, I had been training for my triathlon and felt really good. When I saw the picture, my heart dropped as my face was chubbier than I noticed and it just didn't look like how I felt.  Now. when Brooklyn discovered this picture, here is what she said:

"[gasp!] MOM! Is this you? You look so beautiful! I never saw this picture before. Oh mom, [gushing] look at your hair! It. is. sooo pretty!  And look at you! Mom, I never ever saw this. You are so pretty. I just love you and I love this picture!"

She then stared at it for several minutes with a smile on her face and occasionally showed it to me, beaming.  

My mind went back to when I walked out of the bathroom in my triathlon clothes. The ones that show EVERY curve. She was the first to see me. Her response? " MOM! You look so cute!!"

She came to our home for me. She came for moments like these.  She came so that when I go behind closed doors, I can try to see what she sees.  She has given me a new set of eyes. She has given me the reason to "be the healthiest me that I can be."  It may not be the world's standards or what my friends look like, but if I could just see myself through her eyes, I know I could be healthier.  

If only we all could have a "Brooklyn" and see ourselves through her eyes, we'd all be healthier.  Not just in body, but mind and spirit.

Every time I think about this story I cry.  It has really truly touched me. She has touched me and I am so grateful I get to have Brooklyn.