"I never said it would be easy, I only said it'd be worth it" :): where do we go from here

Sunday, January 25, 2015

where do we go from here

this week has been a week of ups adn downs. mostly downs. Svend has wanted to be anywhere but here. we met with our lawyer who told us we would win the noncompete. he went over our new contract and made some changes. we have to see if jackman will accept them.

i've felt like all this crap is happening because we need to be here. svend feels like it's just one more reason to leave. He started applying for jobs. I cried. I just wanted to yell at him that he was wrong. He said "it was right back then but it doesn't mean it's right now."

we went to the temple. i told him we should seek confirmation that we should leave. when I got to the temple I sought confirmation that we should stay. we went to dinner. he said "I guess we will stay."

We met with the bishop today. he told us we have to take some risks. svend's instinct is flight. he doesn't want to take risks. not when we have a family. but i feel liek we've never taken risks. and now we have potential. he questions all his answers and i just see what we've gained. Bishop was very straight forward with svend in telling him to listen to me, trust The Lord, and take a chance.
SVend was nodding. we didn't talk about it after. I felt like he was humbled a little and I iddn't want to seem like i was "i told you so" because we i don't want to be like that.

then my parents wanted to meet with us. they are selling this house and need us out of here by april 1st... so..... he smiled and nodded and went and applied for other jobs. WHAT ThE Crap?! it's like any time a little bump comes he flies away. I love him so much but we have to do this together or it just won't work. I don't want him here in Texas because of me. but that's what it feels like when he takes the flight route.

anyway, we need to submit our contract negotiations to jackman tonight...then jackman can change it and we can sign it and he can start working and we can get a rental...

or....he can not change it, we don't sign it, and we move somewhere else :(

I'm praying he changes it. Hayes didn't pay svend on friday either.

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Why single?

I remember being engaged and thinking "I can't wait til we're married and we can be together ALL the time." A married friend of mine said "yeah right. We see eachother less now." I didn't believe her :) Well, one month after graduation, babygirl came along. Hubby had a crappy job and didn't get any days off. Luckly she was born on a Sunday. We lived away from any family and dealt for a few days til help arrived. (more like cried and ate toast while never putting down a nursing baby). More school for hubby and Bugs came along. Hubby's don't get maternity leave when they're students...so again we dealt for a few days until help arrived. Moved onto Grad school. Took hubby to carpool every morning @ 6am and picked him up at 5:30pm. Dinner and kids in bed by 6:30 then studying til 10pm. Got a second car (hooray!) which allowed the kids to stay up later and sleep in...thus getting to see daddy more. 3rd year of grad school brought Sweets with it. Hubby got my text to meet me at the hospital. Left school and came over. Back at school the next day. No tears. Lots of help with friends this time :) And family arrived before I was even discharged! Baby #4 came 2 months before graduation…and shortly after we learned we did not match. ..so no job or place to go. we made it though-as you will see. Our caboose arrived at the beginning of our last year in residency. I started this blog when just 3 were at home. It's been a place for me to vent, rejoice, and basically be honest and real with out situation and that of many other students/residents/beginning doctors. Now are in our first year of our career and already we have seen several lows…but we keep chugging forward…and I'm happy to report, I'm not so single any more!