So Today I had Amari...I had told his mom I would watch him til they found something. He was really good and everything was going really well. Then, it was movie time (they had eaten, played for an hour and done 45min with crafting....). Basically, quiet time. He stuck his tongue out at Bergen and hurt him...when Bergen said that wasn't very nice, he took off upstairs to Bergen's room. I went up to check on him and even asked if Bergen needed to go to timeout for something. Of course he just gave me his blank stare...but then began throwing toys around Bergen's room in kind of a "HUMPH" attitude. He called me stupid again and told me not to talk to him. I told him I had to sit in the room and watch him because he showed me he couldn't be left alone with Bergen's toys. He threw more around the room or would come and stand in front of me and drop them all over the floor while sticking his tongue out. He started unloading a toy bag and trying to break the little toys so I took it away from him. He then threw more toys at me...so I gave up the calm voice and yelled. No reaction. Back to calm. He kept telling me to leave. I gave him a few chances but when I came back to check on him, he was trying to break the fan and Brooklyn's toy kitchen. When he threw a ball at my face I told him he wasn't allowed in the room any more...and had to sit on the stairs. Of course this meant me physically picking him up since he won't budge. So I did and tried to hold him on the stairs. All that got me was slapped, pinched, death stares, and kicks. I kept telling him in a calm voice that if he stopped hurting me he could just sit in peaceI would leave him alone. I finally gave up and let him escape...he ran and tried to get into Bergen's closet again. I sat in front of him and just waited. I still had another hour! The kids came up stairs and I told them to leave because Amari needed some alone time and wasn't ready to play. Brooklyn sat on my lap and pretty much broke Amari's anger. He finally started playing nicely so I left them alone.
Bergen came downstairs and asked if they could play outside. I said I was sorry but because Amari treated me so badly, he couldn't do anything "extra" until he apologized to me and Bergen (for messing up his room and trying to break his toys). He was as sweet as can be. he said sorry and helped Bergen clean up his room. They played playdough until his sister came.
I texted his mom and said "I am sorry but I cannot watch Amari anymore." I said "We tried." She said not a problem. It's done. I told him in his attitude/fit/tantrum that he was not allowed in our home anymore. When he was nice he thought it was all forgotten, but as he left I told him again that he couldn't come in our home again and could only play outside with Bergen... he wasn't too thrilled about that.
Yesterday I felt bad. Yesterday I felt guilty and non compassionate. Today I don't. I tried. I was kind and patient and gave many many chances. I am not a social worker. It's not in my job description. If it was my child, yes but here I have a choice. That choice is clear and he cannot come in our home again. My children do not need to see another child treat me that way. He needs someone who can...I don't know.. but not me.
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